﻿1
00:00:06,458 --> 00:00:08,208
[GEORGE] EVERYBODY DIES.

2
00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:10,249
THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

3
00:00:10,250 --> 00:00:12,874
I'M TOLD I'M NOT SUPPOSED
TO ARGUE, OR QUESTION,

4
00:00:12,875 --> 00:00:14,750
OR EVEN TRY TO UNDERSTAND.

5
00:00:15,583 --> 00:00:17,999
I'M TOLD A LOT THESE DAYS,

6
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,999
EVER SINCE MY LIFE
WAS SNUFFED OUT

7
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,165
BY A TOILET SEAT,

8
00:00:21,166 --> 00:00:23,792
AND I'VE JOINED THE
RANKS OF THE UNDEAD.

9
00:00:24,500 --> 00:00:25,624
THIS IS RUBE.

10
00:00:25,625 --> 00:00:28,166
HE'S MY BOSS. HE'S UNDEAD TOO.

11
00:00:28,167 --> 00:00:29,367
HE'S THE ONE WHO GETS THE LIST,

12
00:00:29,391 --> 00:00:31,499
WHO'S TO DIE, WHEN AND WHERE,

13
00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:35,041
WHICH HE PASSES ON TO THE
REST OF US GRIM REAPERS.

14
00:00:35,042 --> 00:00:36,834
THIS IS WHAT WE LOOK
LIKE TO THE LIVING.

15
00:00:37,417 --> 00:00:38,499
HOLY SHIT.

16
00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:40,332
MY NAME IS GEORGE LASS.

17
00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:42,666
I TAKE SOULS FOR A LIVING.

18
00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:44,666
THIS WAS MY HOME,

19
00:00:44,667 --> 00:00:46,624
AND THIS WAS MY FAMILY.

20
00:00:46,625 --> 00:00:49,000
DAD, REGGIE, MOM.

21
00:00:50,166 --> 00:00:51,916
THEY'RE HAVING TROUBLE COPING.

22
00:00:51,917 --> 00:00:53,624
HOW DO YOU KNOW IT WAS HER?

23
00:00:53,625 --> 00:00:54,875
I ONLY TOOK ONE.

24
00:00:56,084 --> 00:00:57,165
DO I HAVE TO GO TO THERAPY?

25
00:00:57,166 --> 00:01:00,208
I DON'T THINK I'M SUPPOSED
TO BE DOING THIS.

26
00:01:00,209 --> 00:01:01,667
BE PATIENT, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.

27
00:01:02,041 --> 00:01:03,165
YOU'RE LEARNING.

28
00:01:03,166 --> 00:01:05,126
YOU'VE GOT TO THINK ABOUT
ALL THE THINGS YOU LIKE,

29
00:01:05,150 --> 00:01:07,416
AND DECIDE WHETHER THEY'RE
WORTH STICKING AROUND FOR,

30
00:01:07,417 --> 00:01:09,624
AND IF THEY ARE, YOU
FIND A WAY TO DO THIS.

31
00:01:09,625 --> 00:01:11,582
[GEORGE] AND WHAT IF I DON'T?

32
00:01:11,583 --> 00:01:12,792
[RUBE] THEN YOU GO AWAY.

33
00:02:15,542 --> 00:02:17,916
[HEARTBEAT]

34
00:02:17,917 --> 00:02:21,707
[GEORGE] THE AVERAGE HEART BEATS
ABOUT 4,300 TIMES AN HOUR.

35
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:24,583
THAT'S 800,000 TIMES A WEEK...

36
00:02:26,542 --> 00:02:29,249
NINE MILLION TIMES A CRISP FALL,

37
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:32,625
AND 2.7 BILLION BEATS
IN A LIFETIME.

38
00:02:35,792 --> 00:02:38,833
WELL, WHAT IS AN
"AVERAGE" HEART, ANYWAY,

39
00:02:38,834 --> 00:02:41,207
AND HOW MANY BEATS DO
BROKEN HEARTS GET?

40
00:02:41,208 --> 00:02:43,125
[BUZZES]

41
00:02:49,625 --> 00:02:50,833
IF I HAD TO CHOOSE

42
00:02:50,834 --> 00:02:53,041
BETWEEN BEING A
HEART OR A BRAIN,

43
00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:54,707
I WOULD DEFINITELY
CHOOSE A HEART,

44
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:56,333
BECAUSE AT LEAST
YOU DO SOMETHING.

45
00:03:02,708 --> 00:03:04,332
IF YOU'RE A BRAIN,

46
00:03:04,333 --> 00:03:05,416
AT THE END OF THE DAY,

47
00:03:05,417 --> 00:03:06,874
ALL YOU'RE REALLY GOOD AT

48
00:03:06,875 --> 00:03:09,291
IS SETTLING FOR
SHITTY SITUATIONS.

49
00:03:12,042 --> 00:03:13,583
HERE. THANK YOU.

50
00:03:14,834 --> 00:03:16,332
WHERE DID EVERYONE GO?

51
00:03:16,333 --> 00:03:17,749
I DON'T KNOW.

52
00:03:17,750 --> 00:03:19,667
MAYBE ONE OF THEM HAD
TO GO MAKE A SISSY.

53
00:03:20,250 --> 00:03:22,042
[TOILET FLUSHES]

54
00:03:31,333 --> 00:03:33,541
HEY. CUSTOMER.

55
00:03:33,542 --> 00:03:36,374
SIR! PLEASE DON'T
BUY GAS HERE, OKAY?

56
00:03:36,375 --> 00:03:37,624
THERE'S ANOTHER GAS STATION

57
00:03:37,625 --> 00:03:38,999
JUST THREE MILES DOWN THE ROAD.

58
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,041
THIS BEAR SHOULD BE SET FREE.

59
00:03:41,042 --> 00:03:43,402
WHAT IF THIS WAS YOUR MOTHER IN THIS CAGE?
YEAH, YOUR MOTHER.

60
00:03:43,426 --> 00:03:45,166
OKAY, THIS BEAR IS DEPRESSED

61
00:03:45,167 --> 00:03:47,083
AND IT WILL DIE IF...

62
00:03:47,084 --> 00:03:48,916
HEY, HEY, HEY. PLEASE
DON'T BUY GAS HERE.

63
00:03:48,917 --> 00:03:50,625
[MAN] DON'T BUY
GAS HERE, PLEASE.

64
00:03:52,125 --> 00:03:53,332
WHAT'S THE NAME?

65
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,874
R. LUBER.

66
00:03:55,875 --> 00:03:57,958
YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO BE HERE WITH ME.

67
00:03:57,959 --> 00:04:00,041
DO I REALLY NEED A CHAPERON?

68
00:04:00,042 --> 00:04:01,708
YEAH, ACTUALLY. YES, YOU DO.

69
00:04:03,125 --> 00:04:05,082
HOW'S YOUR APARTMENT
WORKING OUT FOR YOU?

70
00:04:05,083 --> 00:04:06,207
FINE.

71
00:04:06,208 --> 00:04:07,958
YOU NEED TO GET A SLICKER.

72
00:04:07,959 --> 00:04:10,290
SHINY RUBBER'S THE BEST.
YOU CAN HOSE IT DOWN.

73
00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:12,083
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO
LOOK LIKE A FIREMAN,

74
00:04:12,084 --> 00:04:13,166
A TRENCH IS ALL RIGHT,

75
00:04:13,167 --> 00:04:15,792
BUT YOU'VE GOT TO SCOTCHGARD
THE HECK OUT OF IT.

76
00:04:17,125 --> 00:04:19,999
DO YOU REALLY CARE HOW
IT'S GOING WITH ME?

77
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,707
SURE.

78
00:04:21,708 --> 00:04:23,167
I MAKE MY FACE LOOK LIKE THIS,

79
00:04:24,208 --> 00:04:26,208
AND THE CONCERNED
WORDS COME OUT.

80
00:04:28,708 --> 00:04:30,792
SO, HOW DO WE KNOW
WHICH ONE IS LUBER?

81
00:04:31,458 --> 00:04:33,165
A LITTLE TRICK I USE.

82
00:04:33,166 --> 00:04:34,834
WHO'S R. LUBER? SLICK.

83
00:04:35,792 --> 00:04:37,082
WHO ARE YOU?

84
00:04:37,083 --> 00:04:38,707
WE'RE FROM THE
NORTHWEST ASSOCIATION

85
00:04:38,708 --> 00:04:40,333
FOR THE PREVENTION OF
WILD ANIMAL ABUSE.

86
00:04:41,042 --> 00:04:42,457
OH, YEAH?

87
00:04:42,458 --> 00:04:45,291
YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF NWAPWAA?

88
00:04:46,166 --> 00:04:47,749
YEAH. [RUBE] YOU AND YOUR CREW

89
00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:49,499
ARE DOING A FINE THING HERE.

90
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:50,959
I JUST WANT TO SHAKE YOUR HANDS.

91
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:53,749
THANK YOU.

92
00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:54,990
THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

93
00:04:55,014 --> 00:04:55,999
THANK YOU.

94
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,083
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

95
00:04:57,084 --> 00:04:58,291
YEAH, YOU'RE WELCOME. COME ON.

96
00:04:58,959 --> 00:05:00,209
UM...

97
00:05:00,542 --> 00:05:02,040
GOOD JOB.

98
00:05:02,041 --> 00:05:03,124
[HONKING]

99
00:05:03,125 --> 00:05:04,207
WE'RE GOING.

100
00:05:04,208 --> 00:05:05,791
YEAH, I SEE. I GET IT. OKAY.

101
00:05:05,792 --> 00:05:07,041
YEAH, THANKS FOR NOTHING.

102
00:05:13,583 --> 00:05:14,833
YOU SEE THAT?

103
00:05:14,834 --> 00:05:16,958
SEE, PEOPLE JUST DON'T
CARE ANYMORE, YOU KNOW?

104
00:05:16,959 --> 00:05:18,500
I MEAN, WE'VE BEEN
HERE FOR SIX DAYS.

105
00:05:19,792 --> 00:05:22,124
YOU FUCKING HICKS JUST
DON'T GIVE A SHIT.

106
00:05:22,125 --> 00:05:23,917
CAN YOU GET US ANY PRESS?

107
00:05:25,167 --> 00:05:26,458
WHAT'S WITH THE TRASH BAG?

108
00:05:28,209 --> 00:05:29,999
IF THERE'S ANYTHING
YOU GUYS NEED, UH...

109
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,166
CHEESEBURGERS...

110
00:05:31,167 --> 00:05:32,167
SHE'S JUST KIDDING.

111
00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:34,125
GIVE US A CALL.

112
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:44,500
[WOMAN SCREAMING]

113
00:05:45,417 --> 00:05:47,000
AW, SHIT.

114
00:05:52,125 --> 00:05:53,999
YOU'RE LATE. SORRY.

115
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,500
YOU NEED A SLICKER.

116
00:05:57,750 --> 00:06:00,040
[RUBE] NOW SHE OWNS THAT FACE.

117
00:06:00,041 --> 00:06:02,125
THAT'S WHY YOU POP THE
SOUL BEFORE THEY DIE.

118
00:06:04,166 --> 00:06:06,125
AM I REALLY, REALLY DEAD?

119
00:06:07,083 --> 00:06:09,041
REALLY, REALLY.

120
00:06:12,750 --> 00:06:14,124
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?

121
00:06:14,125 --> 00:06:16,124
I THOUGHT YOU WERE INTO JOANIE.

122
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:18,290
THAT WAS JUST TO
PISS OFF MY PARENTS.

123
00:06:18,291 --> 00:06:20,208
I COMPLETELY THOUGHT
YOU WERE HOT.

124
00:06:20,209 --> 00:06:21,959
WE COULD HAVE BEEN DOING
IT ALL THIS TIME.

125
00:06:22,125 --> 00:06:23,291
YEAH.

126
00:06:27,291 --> 00:06:29,042
[GEORGE] LATE AGAIN...

127
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,042
BUT WHAT AM I REALLY LATE FOR?

128
00:06:34,542 --> 00:06:37,541
THE MARKETING TEAM'S
LATEST PORN RECREATION

129
00:06:37,542 --> 00:06:39,916
OF CASSIE FROM HUMAN
RESOURCES NAKED,

130
00:06:39,917 --> 00:06:42,624
WITH AREOLAS SCANNED
FROM A POLAROID

131
00:06:42,625 --> 00:06:44,208
OF JOE'S WIFE NURSING
THEIR NEW BABY?

132
00:06:45,959 --> 00:06:49,209
FRANK FROM E-COMMERCE'S
GOING-AWAY PARTY?

133
00:06:51,125 --> 00:06:55,125
BARBARA'S UNDERGROUND MOVEMENT
TO INSTITUTE CASUAL FRIDAYS.

134
00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:58,666
ONE DESPERATE ATTEMPT
AFTER ANOTHER

135
00:06:58,667 --> 00:07:01,165
TO FIND SOMETHING IN
COMMON WITH SOMEONE ELSE,

136
00:07:01,166 --> 00:07:03,042
AND THEN CLING.

137
00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:06,374
"HEY, YOU HAVE 10 FINGERS?

138
00:07:06,375 --> 00:07:08,333
"I HAVE 10 FINGERS!
LET'S BE FRIENDS!

139
00:07:09,125 --> 00:07:11,582
"WE'LL MAKE RULES AND SLOGANS,

140
00:07:11,583 --> 00:07:13,423
"AND THEN IF WE FIND
SOMEONE WITH NINE FINGERS,

141
00:07:13,447 --> 00:07:15,239
WE CAN BEAT THE
CRAP OUT OF THEM."

142
00:07:17,084 --> 00:07:19,999
IT BOTHERED ME SHE
WAS IN MY WORKSPACE.

143
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,833
IT BOTHERED ME MORE THAT
I HAD STARTED TO FEEL

144
00:07:21,834 --> 00:07:24,040
SOME CONNECTION TO THREE
FELT-COVERED WALLS

145
00:07:24,041 --> 00:07:26,332
AND A CHAIR THAT
SMELLED LIKE PINE SOL

146
00:07:26,333 --> 00:07:28,000
WHEN IT WARMED TO MY
BODY TEMPERATURE.

147
00:07:28,917 --> 00:07:30,250
UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

148
00:07:31,167 --> 00:07:32,707
ARE YOU JUST GETTING IN?

149
00:07:32,708 --> 00:07:34,833
LOOKS THAT WAY.

150
00:07:34,834 --> 00:07:36,750
THE PASSWORD'S "RIMJOB,"
IF YOU WANT TO GET ON.

151
00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:39,082
I'M THE SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR.

152
00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:41,582
I DON'T THINK I NEED A PASSWORD,

153
00:07:41,583 --> 00:07:43,958
AND I DON'T HAVE TO TELL
YOU THAT YOU'RE LATE.

154
00:07:43,959 --> 00:07:46,039
[GEORGE] WHAT KIND OF UNIVERSE
WOULD GIVE ME THE POWER

155
00:07:46,063 --> 00:07:48,416
TO EXTRACT SOULS FROM
PEOPLE'S BODIES,

156
00:07:48,417 --> 00:07:50,958
BUT STILL FORCE ME TO
KEEP A SUCK-ASS JOB

157
00:07:50,959 --> 00:07:52,124
IF I WANT TO EAT?

158
00:07:52,125 --> 00:07:53,624
I'M SORRY.

159
00:07:53,625 --> 00:07:56,291
I GUESS I'M JUST STILL
SHAKEN UP ABOUT THE...

160
00:07:57,042 --> 00:07:58,499
CAR ACCIDENT.

161
00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:01,458
OH, MY! ARE YOU HURT?

162
00:08:03,333 --> 00:08:05,834
I, UH, CLOT FAST.

163
00:08:07,125 --> 00:08:09,416
I THINK YOU SHOULD TAKE
THE REST OF THE DAY OFF.

164
00:08:09,417 --> 00:08:10,541
REALLY?

165
00:08:10,542 --> 00:08:11,958
OF COURSE. GO HOME.

166
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:13,000
THANK YOU.

167
00:08:14,667 --> 00:08:16,583
WHY "RIMJOB"?

168
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:23,290
IT WAS THE NAME OF MY
HAMSTER GROWING UP.

169
00:08:23,291 --> 00:08:27,708
MY GRANDFATHER'S CAT
WAS NAMED "ODD-JOB".

170
00:08:30,209 --> 00:08:31,250
WOW.

171
00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:37,083
I WISH PEOPLE WERE
MORE COMPLICATED,

172
00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:38,208
BUT THEY'RE NOT.

173
00:08:38,209 --> 00:08:39,209
UH, DOLORES?

174
00:08:40,667 --> 00:08:42,541
AM I STILL GOING TO
GET PAID FOR TODAY

175
00:08:42,542 --> 00:08:43,999
IF I GO HOME?

176
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,333
ACTUALLY...

177
00:08:47,542 --> 00:08:50,166
SO DOLORES LENT ME
HER SOFTBALL SHIRT,

178
00:08:50,167 --> 00:08:51,457
WHICH WASN'T SO BAD,

179
00:08:51,458 --> 00:08:53,667
EXCEPT THAT HUMAN
BEINGS HAVE EYEBALLS...

180
00:08:55,375 --> 00:08:56,874
HEY.

181
00:08:56,875 --> 00:08:57,999
[GEORGE] AND MOUTHS.

182
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,208
ARE YOU JOINING THE HEFFALUMPS?

183
00:09:13,458 --> 00:09:15,958
[GEORGE] MAYBE IT
WAS THE UNIFORM,

184
00:09:15,959 --> 00:09:17,125
BUT IT DID MAKE ME WONDER...

185
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,165
SALT.

186
00:09:19,166 --> 00:09:20,290
[GEORGE] WHAT TEAM WAS I ON?

187
00:09:20,291 --> 00:09:23,416
AND ALWAYS BE NICE TO
THAT LADY AT THE DMV.

188
00:09:23,417 --> 00:09:26,040
I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT HER
WEAVE LOOKED LIKE CARPET,

189
00:09:26,041 --> 00:09:27,916
AND NOW MY SOCIAL
SECURITY NUMBER

190
00:09:27,917 --> 00:09:29,416
PULLS UP TWO BANKRUPTCIES.

191
00:09:29,417 --> 00:09:31,707
SEE? DON'T "SEE" ME.

192
00:09:31,708 --> 00:09:33,624
THAT SHIT'S A MAJOR VIOLATION.

193
00:09:33,625 --> 00:09:37,208
SO, STILL LOVING YOUR
DAY JOB, PEANUT?

194
00:09:37,834 --> 00:09:39,332
I DON'T KNOW.

195
00:09:39,333 --> 00:09:40,499
[RUBE] REMIND ME.

196
00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:42,250
OFFICE ASSISTANT.

197
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,875
YOU'VE GOT A WHOLE
BRECK-GIRL THING HAPPENING.

198
00:09:48,125 --> 00:09:50,332
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

199
00:09:50,333 --> 00:09:52,417
IT MEANS YOU GOT TOO
MUCH STUFF ON YOUR FACE.

200
00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:56,499
FUCKABLE'S PROMOTABLE.

201
00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:58,165
ANYONE WANT TICKETS
TO A HOCKEY GAME?

202
00:09:58,166 --> 00:10:00,208
OOH, WHEN? SEVENTH,
EIGHTH, NINTH.

203
00:10:00,959 --> 00:10:03,416
DUKE. TWO TICKETS?

204
00:10:03,417 --> 00:10:04,791
YEP, AND BLUE LINE,

205
00:10:04,792 --> 00:10:06,291
AND PARKING PASS TOO, I THINK.

206
00:10:07,042 --> 00:10:08,207
[RUBE] DUKE.

207
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:09,541
WHO'S "DUKE?"

208
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:11,290
PIERROT LE DUC.

209
00:10:11,291 --> 00:10:12,999
TOOK A PUCK TO THE
HEAD LAST NIGHT.

210
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,416
CONCUSSIVE BRAIN INJURY?

211
00:10:14,417 --> 00:10:16,874
ASPHYXIATION. [BETTY] NO.

212
00:10:16,875 --> 00:10:19,207
DIDN'T HAVE ANY TEETH
TO STOP THE THING.

213
00:10:19,208 --> 00:10:20,374
WHERE'D YOU GET THE TICKETS?

214
00:10:20,375 --> 00:10:21,542
HIS WIDOW.

215
00:10:23,084 --> 00:10:24,959
HOW DO YOU KNOW HE
DOESN'T HAVE ANY TEETH?

216
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,291
NOW, NOW.

217
00:10:28,166 --> 00:10:30,417
REGGIE, ARE YOU
EVEN READY YET...

218
00:10:32,792 --> 00:10:34,416
TAKE THAT OFF.

219
00:10:34,417 --> 00:10:36,165
WHY? YOU KNOW WHY.

220
00:10:36,166 --> 00:10:38,040
[GEORGE] THAT'S THE
DRESS MY SISTER WORE

221
00:10:38,041 --> 00:10:39,916
TO MY FUNERAL.

222
00:10:39,917 --> 00:10:41,416
I LIKE THIS.

223
00:10:41,417 --> 00:10:43,083
YOU HAVE OTHER CLOTHES.

224
00:10:45,125 --> 00:10:47,291
[GEORGE] AND THOSE
ARE MY PAJAMAS.

225
00:10:52,625 --> 00:10:54,417
SAME STOCKINGS, SAME SHOES.

226
00:11:00,708 --> 00:11:02,548
[REGGIE] I DON'T WANT TO
HAVE MY PICTURE TAKEN.

227
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,374
YOU'RE LUCKY WE'RE NOT
DOING THIS WITH MY MOTHER.

228
00:11:09,375 --> 00:11:11,575
SHE USED TO MAKE US PRACTICE
SMILING IN FRONT OF A MIRROR

229
00:11:11,599 --> 00:11:13,874
BEFORE WE LEFT THE HOUSE.

230
00:11:13,875 --> 00:11:16,375
THAT'S BECAUSE SHE
DOESN'T LIKE YOUR SMILE.

231
00:11:17,375 --> 00:11:18,833
DID SHE TELL YOU THAT?

232
00:11:18,834 --> 00:11:20,750
YEAH. SHE SAID IT WAS FAKE.

233
00:11:23,667 --> 00:11:25,125
THAT BITCH.

234
00:11:29,166 --> 00:11:30,166
OH, YEAH.

235
00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:32,874
SEE? THAT'S SO PRETTY.

236
00:11:32,875 --> 00:11:34,124
YOU'RE GOING TO NEED A SWEATER.

237
00:11:34,125 --> 00:11:35,333
NO, I WON'T.

238
00:11:46,041 --> 00:11:48,083
DID YOU FINISH YOUR HOMEWORK?
NO.

239
00:11:48,084 --> 00:11:49,417
OH, GOD.

240
00:12:07,834 --> 00:12:09,166
[GEORGE] IN EIGHTH GRADE,

241
00:12:09,167 --> 00:12:10,207
DANNY BERKOFF TOLD ME

242
00:12:10,208 --> 00:12:13,457
THAT IF YOU DROPPED A PENNY OFF
THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING,

243
00:12:13,458 --> 00:12:14,917
IT COULD KILL SOMEONE.

244
00:12:15,708 --> 00:12:18,290
THAT'S HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS.

245
00:12:18,291 --> 00:12:22,125
IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE,
BUT I STILL HAVE TO TRY IT.

246
00:12:23,708 --> 00:12:27,917
GOING HOME WAS FUCKED UP,
BUT I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF.

247
00:12:35,834 --> 00:12:38,499
I DIDN'T GIVE A GERBIL'S
ASS ABOUT ALL THIS CRAP

248
00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:40,042
WHEN I WAS ALIVE.

249
00:12:41,166 --> 00:12:44,417
NOW IT ALL SEEMED
SUDDENLY PRECIOUS.

250
00:13:01,042 --> 00:13:02,582
I REMEMBER PLAYING
WITH THIS DOLL

251
00:13:02,583 --> 00:13:06,958
IN THE BACKYARD SANDBOX
THAT SMELLED LIKE CAT PISS.

252
00:13:06,959 --> 00:13:10,290
I REMEMBER INVITING HER TO
MY SIXTH BIRTHDAY PARTY,

253
00:13:10,291 --> 00:13:13,083
TAKING HER WITH ME TO OUR
SUMMERS IN NEW HAMPSHIRE.

254
00:13:14,250 --> 00:13:16,250
WE NEVER WENT TO NEW HAMPSHIRE.

255
00:13:17,667 --> 00:13:18,749
ALL RIGHT,

256
00:13:18,750 --> 00:13:20,374
I'LL HAVE YOU STAND RIGHT THERE.

257
00:13:20,375 --> 00:13:22,249
UH, I PREFER TO BE HERE.
OH, OKAY.

258
00:13:22,250 --> 00:13:23,890
SWEETIE, WHY DON'T YOU
COME RIGHT IN HERE?

259
00:13:23,914 --> 00:13:24,791
OH, YOU LOOK SO GOOD.

260
00:13:24,792 --> 00:13:26,042
ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO, GUYS.

261
00:13:26,417 --> 00:13:27,708
AND WHEATIES.

262
00:13:50,375 --> 00:13:53,707
[GEORGE] I NEVER KNEW
MUCH ABOUT MY SISTER,

263
00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:55,708
BUT I DO REMEMBER
SHE HATED MATH.

264
00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:04,124
HEY, REGGIE. REGGIE, RIGHT HERE.
COME ON.

265
00:14:04,125 --> 00:14:06,583
GIVE TO MONTY. GIVE TO MONTY.

266
00:14:07,333 --> 00:14:10,165
HAPPY EVERYONE. HAPPY.

267
00:14:10,166 --> 00:14:12,999
SMILE, REGGIE. SMILE.

268
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,124
[GEORGE] BEFORE I LEFT, I NEEDED
TO GRAB SOME CLEAN UNDIES

269
00:14:16,125 --> 00:14:18,000
FROM MY OLD BEDROOM.

270
00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:30,000
SHIT.

271
00:14:39,208 --> 00:14:42,041
GOD BLESS MY MOM.

272
00:14:42,042 --> 00:14:46,125
IF SHE EVER PUT A BULLET THROUGH HER
HEAD, IT WOULD PROBABLY BE LABELED.

273
00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:53,624
WHEN I WAS LITTLE AND
MY PARENTS WOULD GO OUT

274
00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:55,791
AND LEAVE US WITH A BABYSITTER,

275
00:14:55,792 --> 00:14:58,040
I WOULD SNEAK INTO
MY MOM'S CLOSET,

276
00:14:58,041 --> 00:15:00,082
PRESS HER DRESSES TO MY FACE,

277
00:15:00,083 --> 00:15:03,084
AND BREATHE HER IN AS
CLOSE AS I COULD...

278
00:15:06,834 --> 00:15:10,084
BUT THERE'S ONE SMELL I DIDN'T
REALIZE I'D MISS SO MUCH.

279
00:15:11,792 --> 00:15:13,000
MY OWN.

280
00:15:29,333 --> 00:15:31,333
[CARTOONS PLAYING ON TV]

281
00:15:35,875 --> 00:15:37,515
DAMMIT, GEORGIA, WOULD
YOU GET OFF YOUR ASS

282
00:15:37,539 --> 00:15:39,040
AND GIVE ME A HAND?

283
00:15:39,041 --> 00:15:40,707
MOM?

284
00:15:40,708 --> 00:15:42,167
DON'T LET THE CAT OUT.

285
00:15:43,125 --> 00:15:44,833
[DOOR CLOSING]

286
00:15:44,834 --> 00:15:47,624
[JOY] REGGIE, THOSE ARE STILL CLEAN.
HANG THEM UP.

287
00:15:47,625 --> 00:15:50,041
I'LL PROBABLY MISS DINNER.

288
00:15:50,042 --> 00:15:52,666
I'M SO GLAD WE SPENT ALL THAT
MONEY ON YOUR HOME OFFICE.

289
00:15:52,667 --> 00:15:53,874
IT'S MID-TERMS.

290
00:15:53,875 --> 00:15:55,315
YOU JUST HAD TO HAVE
THAT AERON CHAIR

291
00:15:55,339 --> 00:15:57,041
AND THAT PENTIUM WHATEVER.

292
00:15:57,042 --> 00:15:58,541
SO LET THE GIRLS USE IT.

293
00:15:58,542 --> 00:16:00,000
[GEORGE] WHOOPS.

294
00:16:01,166 --> 00:16:02,791
SHE CAN DO HER
HOMEWORK IN THERE.

295
00:16:02,792 --> 00:16:04,124
[GEORGE] NICE SAVE.

296
00:16:04,125 --> 00:16:05,667
MY CELL PHONE'S ON.

297
00:16:06,834 --> 00:16:08,208
FUCK.

298
00:16:20,708 --> 00:16:23,625
[JOY] REGGIE, WOULD YOU PLEASE
GO GET THAT GODDAMN SWEATER?

299
00:16:54,084 --> 00:16:56,708
[GEORGE] YOU KNOW THE STORY
OF THE PRINCESS AND THE PEA?

300
00:16:58,084 --> 00:16:59,458
IT WAS BASED ON MY MOM.

301
00:17:13,834 --> 00:17:17,165
I THINK OF CATS, STRAY CATS.

302
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:19,541
IF YOU KEEP PUTTING
OUT THE FOOD,

303
00:17:19,542 --> 00:17:20,791
THEY'LL KEEP COMING BACK.

304
00:17:20,792 --> 00:17:22,667
[WATER SLOSHING]

305
00:17:27,375 --> 00:17:30,707
IF THINKING ABOUT YOUR
SISTER IS PAINFUL,

306
00:17:30,708 --> 00:17:33,042
THEN YOU HAVE TO DECIDE NOT TO.

307
00:17:34,208 --> 00:17:37,542
IT'S UP TO YOU, AND I
KNOW YOU CAN DO IT.

308
00:17:45,209 --> 00:17:46,333
MOM? YES?

309
00:17:47,458 --> 00:17:49,298
[REGGIE] I DIDN'T KNOW
IF YOU WERE STILL THERE.

310
00:18:02,125 --> 00:18:04,166
DO YOU STILL WEAR CLOTHES?

311
00:18:13,291 --> 00:18:15,500
WHERE DO YOU LIVE NOW?

312
00:18:33,042 --> 00:18:34,333
OW.

313
00:18:35,875 --> 00:18:37,750
CAN I GET 10 FINGERS?

314
00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:39,792
THE NAILS.

315
00:18:44,250 --> 00:18:46,165
THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE.

316
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,457
SAP'S A BITCH.

317
00:18:47,458 --> 00:18:49,084
WELL, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

318
00:18:49,917 --> 00:18:51,499
IS THERE SOME KIND OF TRICK?

319
00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:53,260
I MEAN, AM I SUPPOSED
TO TAKE THE TREE'S SOUL

320
00:18:53,284 --> 00:18:55,833
AND ASK IT TO CLIMB ITSELF
AND GET THE GUY DOWN?

321
00:18:55,834 --> 00:18:57,041
HERE. NO WAY.

322
00:19:00,208 --> 00:19:01,457
[THUNK]

323
00:19:01,458 --> 00:19:02,834
WOW. IT MOVED.

324
00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:07,458
OH, SHIT. OW!

325
00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:11,458
YOU THROW LIKE A GIRL.

326
00:19:13,042 --> 00:19:14,542
CAN YOU TAKE TREES' SOULS?

327
00:19:15,041 --> 00:19:17,082
DO TREES HAVE SOULS?

328
00:19:17,083 --> 00:19:19,042
DON'T KNOW. WHAT ABOUT ANIMALS?

329
00:19:19,667 --> 00:19:20,916
OR ROCKS?

330
00:19:20,917 --> 00:19:23,125
OR WHAT IF YOU TRIED
TO TAKE A SOUL'S SOUL?

331
00:19:25,125 --> 00:19:27,207
DON'T YOU EVER WONDER
ABOUT THIS STUFF?

332
00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:29,084
I ASKED RUBE ONCE.

333
00:19:30,458 --> 00:19:32,082
NICE.

334
00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:33,999
HE SAYS THAT YOU
JUST DON'T DO IT,

335
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,042
SO I DON'T.

336
00:19:43,375 --> 00:19:45,042
I WENT HOME.

337
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,040
EVERYBODY WANTS TO GO HOME,

338
00:19:51,041 --> 00:19:52,375
BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT RIGHT.

339
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,749
NOBODY SAW ME.

340
00:19:54,750 --> 00:19:56,375
IT'S NOT ABOUT THEM.
IT'S ABOUT YOU.

341
00:19:57,083 --> 00:19:58,166
IT'S WHAT YOU SEE.

342
00:19:59,458 --> 00:20:01,000
SWIPE ANYTHING?

343
00:20:05,834 --> 00:20:08,582
IT'S VERY TEMPTING TO THINK THAT
THE LITTLE JEWELS FROM OUR LIVES

344
00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:10,000
WILL BRING IT ALL BACK,

345
00:20:11,084 --> 00:20:12,167
BUT THEY DON'T.

346
00:20:25,875 --> 00:20:27,125
YOU CAN'T GO BACK.

347
00:20:28,542 --> 00:20:30,167
ARE YOU GOING TO TELL RUBE?

348
00:20:33,458 --> 00:20:34,958
WHERE'S BETTY?

349
00:20:34,959 --> 00:20:36,290
BABYSITTING.

350
00:20:36,291 --> 00:20:38,040
I NEVER HAD A BABYSITTER.

351
00:20:38,041 --> 00:20:40,209
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU
DIDN'T NEED ONE.

352
00:20:42,625 --> 00:20:44,333
I'M GOING TO GET A PET BIRD.

353
00:20:45,458 --> 00:20:47,041
DON'T GET A BIRD.

354
00:20:47,042 --> 00:20:48,041
WHY NOT?

355
00:20:48,042 --> 00:20:49,749
BECAUSE THEY'RE WEIRD.

356
00:20:49,750 --> 00:20:51,082
MAN, I CAN'T RELATE TO A BIRD.

357
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,165
THEY'RE SO FAR REMOVED.

358
00:20:53,166 --> 00:20:55,249
THEY'VE GOT DIFFERENT
CHROMOSOMES,

359
00:20:55,250 --> 00:20:56,792
AND THEY COME FROM EGGS.

360
00:20:57,166 --> 00:20:58,374
THEY'VE GOT FACES.

361
00:20:58,375 --> 00:20:59,834
SO DO COCKROACHES.

362
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,083
MAN, WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO DO WITH A BIRD?

363
00:21:05,084 --> 00:21:06,582
STICK IT IN A CAGE AND FEED IT.

364
00:21:06,583 --> 00:21:08,041
WHAT DO YOU THINK
I'M GOING TO DO?

365
00:21:08,042 --> 00:21:10,162
WELL, I THINK YOU SHOULD AT
LEAST GET ONE YOU CAN EAT.

366
00:21:11,333 --> 00:21:12,958
I'M GOING TO GET A FRIEND.

367
00:21:12,959 --> 00:21:14,999
I'M NOT GOING TO EAT MY FRIEND.

368
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,874
THEY HAVE BRAINS THE
SIZE OF PISTACHIOS.

369
00:21:17,875 --> 00:21:19,435
IT'S NOT SMART ENOUGH
TO BE YOUR FRIEND.

370
00:21:19,436 --> 00:21:21,059
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

371
00:21:21,060 --> 00:21:24,582
I SAW THIS SPECIAL ON PBS
CALLED ANIMAL MIRACLES,

372
00:21:24,583 --> 00:21:26,749
AND THEY DID A
DRAMATIC RE-ENACTMENT

373
00:21:26,750 --> 00:21:28,165
ABOUT A GUY BEING ROBBED,

374
00:21:28,166 --> 00:21:30,791
AND HE HAD A PARROT OR A
COCKATIEL OR SOMETHING,

375
00:21:30,792 --> 00:21:34,249
AND THAT BIRD LOST ITS SHIT
WHEN ITS OWNER WAS ATTACKED.

376
00:21:34,250 --> 00:21:36,083
IT OPENED UP ITS CAGE...

377
00:21:36,084 --> 00:21:38,040
THEN WHY PUT IT IN A CAGE?

378
00:21:38,041 --> 00:21:40,083
WHERE ELSE ARE YOU
GOING TO PUT IT?

379
00:21:40,084 --> 00:21:41,165
IT OPENED UP ITS CAGE

380
00:21:41,166 --> 00:21:42,999
AND WENT CRAZY,

381
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,416
PECKED OUT THE ROBBER'S EYES,

382
00:21:44,417 --> 00:21:47,499
SCRATCHED HIS FACE UP LIKE HE
WAS TIPPI HEDREN OR SOME SHIT,

383
00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:49,542
AND DON'T YOU TELL ME
THAT'S NOT FRIENDSHIP.

384
00:21:54,125 --> 00:21:56,165
HOW BIG WAS THIS PARROT?

385
00:21:56,166 --> 00:21:57,958
I DON'T KNOW. PARROT-SIZE.

386
00:21:57,959 --> 00:22:00,207
WELL, A PARROT CAN'T
TAKE ON A FULL-GROWN MAN

387
00:22:00,208 --> 00:22:02,082
UNLESS THAT MAN IS A BIG PUSSY.

388
00:22:02,083 --> 00:22:04,999
I DIDN'T SAY THE PARROT WON.

389
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,874
THE ROBBER STABBED IT WITH A
FORK AND KILLED ITS OWNER.

390
00:22:07,875 --> 00:22:08,999
THE BIRD'S DEAD.

391
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:10,666
SO WHY ARE YOU GETTING A BIRD?

392
00:22:10,667 --> 00:22:13,124
IT'S NOT ABOUT
HOMELAND SECURITY,

393
00:22:13,125 --> 00:22:14,249
YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER.

394
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:16,000
I'M GOING TO GET A FRIEND.

395
00:22:19,084 --> 00:22:20,249
JESUS.

396
00:22:20,250 --> 00:22:23,457
[GEORGE] SHE WASN'T THE ONLY
ONE LOOKING FOR A FRIEND.

397
00:22:23,458 --> 00:22:26,041
SO, WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO NOW?

398
00:22:26,042 --> 00:22:28,125
I WAS KIND OF HOPING YOU
WERE GOING TO TELL ME.

399
00:22:31,209 --> 00:22:33,582
OH, YOU'RE TALKING TO HER.

400
00:22:33,583 --> 00:22:36,500
I MEAN, BECAUSE IF YOU WANT
TO GET DINNER OR SOMETHING...

401
00:22:38,042 --> 00:22:40,290
DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG
WAY, BUT I'M JUST NOT UP

402
00:22:40,291 --> 00:22:44,249
TO THE WHOLE BONDING,
BUDDY-GIRL THING, OKAY?

403
00:22:44,250 --> 00:22:47,375
[GEORGE] HARD TO THINK WHAT THE
WRONG WAY TO TAKE THAT WOULD BE.

404
00:22:48,333 --> 00:22:50,791
HEY, I DON'T WANT
TO BOND EITHER.

405
00:22:50,792 --> 00:22:52,291
I'M JUST HUNGRY.

406
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,041
IS THAT...

407
00:22:56,042 --> 00:22:58,707
THE GREAT... WHATEVER.

408
00:22:58,708 --> 00:23:00,542
SHUT UP...

409
00:23:41,083 --> 00:23:43,083
THIS IS BILL BRIGHT
REPORTING FROM ROUTE SEVEN.

410
00:23:43,084 --> 00:23:44,582
CONTROVERSY CONTINUES TO BUILD

411
00:23:44,583 --> 00:23:47,124
OVER THE DECISION TO
PUT DOWN THE BEAR.

412
00:23:47,125 --> 00:23:49,791
ANIMAL CONTROL HAS SAID
IT'S A MATTER OF POLICY,

413
00:23:49,792 --> 00:23:51,332
BUT DORA'S SUPPORTERS CONTEND

414
00:23:51,333 --> 00:23:53,374
THAT THE ANIMAL SHOULD
NOT BE PUT TO DEATH

415
00:23:53,375 --> 00:23:55,499
FOR FOLLOWING ITS
NATURAL INSTINCTS

416
00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:57,916
WHEN IT KILLED TWO
HUNGER STRIKERS...

417
00:23:57,917 --> 00:23:59,416
CHRIS, ALLY...

418
00:23:59,417 --> 00:24:01,082
ARE YOU ROBBING ME?

419
00:24:01,083 --> 00:24:03,125
NO. THERE'S NOTHING
TO FUCKING ROB.

420
00:24:04,125 --> 00:24:06,167
I WAS DREAMING ABOUT FROGS.

421
00:24:07,209 --> 00:24:08,916
REAL ONES OR LIKE KERMIT?

422
00:24:08,917 --> 00:24:10,208
REAL ONES.

423
00:24:11,375 --> 00:24:13,791
I SAW A MOVIE ABOUT FROGS.

424
00:24:13,792 --> 00:24:14,916
THEY GOT PISSED

425
00:24:14,917 --> 00:24:16,999
AND ATE A BUNCH OF
PEOPLE ON AN ISLAND.

426
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:18,120
I THINK IT WAS CALLED FROGS.

427
00:24:18,625 --> 00:24:20,499
WERE THEY BAD PEOPLE?

428
00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:22,874
NO, NO. THEY LITTERED
OR SOMETHING.

429
00:24:22,875 --> 00:24:25,083
I ONLY LIKE IT WHEN
ONLY BAD PEOPLE DIE.

430
00:24:26,542 --> 00:24:29,166
I LIKE IT WHEN NOBODY DIES
SO I DON'T HAVE TO WORK.

431
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,958
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN
IF EVERYBODY DIED?

432
00:24:32,959 --> 00:24:34,167
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

433
00:24:35,625 --> 00:24:38,791
LIKE, IF WE WERE THE
ONLY ONES LEFT?

434
00:24:38,792 --> 00:24:40,707
OH, YOU MEAN LIKE

435
00:24:40,708 --> 00:24:43,542
IF THE FROGS ATE
EVERYONE ON THE PLANET?

436
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,416
YEAH.

437
00:24:46,417 --> 00:24:49,791
I RECKON WE'D BE SHOVELING
A LOT OF FROG SHIT.

438
00:24:49,792 --> 00:24:51,312
DID YOU SHOVEL FROG
SHIT IN YOUR DREAM?

439
00:24:52,625 --> 00:24:54,167
NO.

440
00:24:55,417 --> 00:24:57,165
A FROG WAS CARRYING
ME ON HIS BACK

441
00:24:57,166 --> 00:24:59,000
OVER A RIVER OF LAVA.

442
00:25:01,625 --> 00:25:03,167
A FROG?

443
00:25:03,750 --> 00:25:05,125
YEAH.

444
00:25:08,959 --> 00:25:10,458
I HAVE TO GO.

445
00:25:12,792 --> 00:25:14,165
I'VE GOT A BUSINESS MEETING.

446
00:25:14,166 --> 00:25:15,666
GOT TO GET OUR DUCKS IN A ROW,

447
00:25:15,667 --> 00:25:17,427
FINE-TUNE THE LANGUAGE,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

448
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,624
YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY SHOULD
DO SOMETHING WITH THIS PLACE.

449
00:25:24,625 --> 00:25:26,375
I'VE BEEN IN CRACK
HOUSES WITH MORE STYLE.

450
00:25:27,417 --> 00:25:29,208
DO YOU NEED THIS BACK?

451
00:25:29,209 --> 00:25:30,208
NO.

452
00:25:30,209 --> 00:25:31,583
CHEERS.

453
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:46,207
HELLO?

454
00:25:46,208 --> 00:25:48,332
HI. I DON'T KNOW IF
YOU GOT THE E-MAIL,

455
00:25:48,333 --> 00:25:51,166
BUT HARRY F. IN WEB DESIGN
IS MOVING TO CORPORATE.

456
00:25:51,167 --> 00:25:52,999
WE'RE ALL MEETING
IN HERE FOR CAKE.

457
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,499
[GEORGE] I'M PRETTY SURE
THEY PUT MIND-CONTROL DRUGS

458
00:25:55,500 --> 00:25:57,041
IN THE WATER COOLER,

459
00:25:57,042 --> 00:25:59,541
BECAUSE I'M ACTUALLY
A LITTLE EXCITED.

460
00:25:59,542 --> 00:26:00,875
CAN YOU COVER THE PHONES?

461
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,332
MICHAEL'S ALREADY
GROUP-FORWARDED TO VOICEMAIL,

462
00:26:05,333 --> 00:26:07,707
BUT THE MAIN LINE WILL RING
THROUGH TO YOUR EXTENSION.

463
00:26:07,708 --> 00:26:08,916
OKAY?

464
00:26:08,917 --> 00:26:10,167
YEAH.

465
00:26:15,375 --> 00:26:17,332
[GEORGE] LITTLE MOMENTS
LIKE THAT PROVE TO ME

466
00:26:17,333 --> 00:26:20,416
THAT THERE IS SOME KIND OF
ALL-POWERFUL, ALL-KNOWING FORCE

467
00:26:20,417 --> 00:26:22,500
THAT CONTROLS EVERYTHING
IN THE UNIVERSE,

468
00:26:23,417 --> 00:26:25,208
AND IT'S SO FUCKING BORED,

469
00:26:25,209 --> 00:26:26,749
IT WILL ACTUALLY TAKE TIME OUT

470
00:26:26,750 --> 00:26:29,625
TO ORCHESTRATE A PETTY
LET-DOWN LIKE THAT. [RINGING]

471
00:26:31,042 --> 00:26:33,042
IT'S NOT THAT I EVEN
CARED ABOUT THE CAKE,

472
00:26:33,834 --> 00:26:35,582
OR THE CONVERSATION...

473
00:26:35,583 --> 00:26:38,499
THE LATEST JAVA PATCH
IS COMPLETELY KICK-ASS.

474
00:26:38,500 --> 00:26:39,958
[RINGING]

475
00:26:39,959 --> 00:26:42,249
[GEORGE] BUT I GUESS, STANDING
OUTSIDE ALL THAT BULLSHIT,

476
00:26:42,250 --> 00:26:44,749
THEY STARTED TO REALIZE
HOW WARM AND SAFE

477
00:26:44,750 --> 00:26:47,084
THAT BULLSHIT MIGHT
ACTUALLY FEEL.

478
00:26:51,834 --> 00:26:53,791
YOU KNOW, THE SAD THING HERE IS

479
00:26:53,792 --> 00:26:57,041
THAT YOU CAN'T COME UP WITH A
MORE ORIGINAL WAY TO ACT OUT.

480
00:26:57,042 --> 00:26:59,541
I DON'T HAVE THE TELEVISION.

481
00:26:59,542 --> 00:27:01,666
IF YOU'RE TESTING ME, REGGIE,
YOU'RE GOING TO LOSE.

482
00:27:01,667 --> 00:27:03,041
I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO.

483
00:27:03,042 --> 00:27:05,791
YOU CAN SET THE CAR ON
FIRE, EAT THE CAT...

484
00:27:05,792 --> 00:27:07,874
I WILL NOT GIVE YOU
EXTRA ATTENTION

485
00:27:07,875 --> 00:27:09,416
BECAUSE YOU WON'T
LET GO OF THIS.

486
00:27:09,417 --> 00:27:11,499
[GEORGE] IF THERE'S ANY
POETRY TO BEING A REAPER,

487
00:27:11,500 --> 00:27:14,124
IT'S IN COMBINING THE
BUSINESS OF TAKING SOULS

488
00:27:14,125 --> 00:27:15,874
WITH THE PLEASURE
OF MAKING MONEY.

489
00:27:15,875 --> 00:27:17,582
IF YOU CAN GET A LITTLE
SELF-AWARENESS TOO,

490
00:27:17,583 --> 00:27:19,423
THEN YOU'RE THE
WALT-FUCKING-WHITMAN OF REAPERS.

491
00:27:19,447 --> 00:27:22,197
WHEN YOU DELIVER CRITICISM,
ARE YOU DIRECT OR TACTFUL?

492
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:25,457
AM I TELLING THE TRUTH?

493
00:27:25,458 --> 00:27:27,457
TACTFUL.

494
00:27:27,458 --> 00:27:29,582
YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF
EXCEPTIONALLY REASONABLE

495
00:27:29,583 --> 00:27:31,125
OR EXCEPTIONALLY KIND.

496
00:27:31,542 --> 00:27:33,125
UH...

497
00:27:33,834 --> 00:27:35,166
EXCEPTIONALLY KIND.

498
00:27:36,417 --> 00:27:38,165
WELL, I'M NOT
PARTICULARLY REASONABLE.

499
00:27:38,166 --> 00:27:40,582
FINE. KIND. ME TOO.

500
00:27:40,583 --> 00:27:42,875
DO YOU TEND TO SEE THE
TREES OR THE FOREST?

501
00:27:43,917 --> 00:27:45,332
WELL, HOW MANY TREES?

502
00:27:45,333 --> 00:27:47,166
WELL, HOW MANY YOU WANT?

503
00:27:47,167 --> 00:27:49,767
WELL, IN CHINESE, THERE'S THIS
SYMBOL THAT LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE TREE

504
00:27:49,791 --> 00:27:51,833
AND IT MEANS TREE, BUT IF
THERE ARE TWO OF THEM,

505
00:27:51,834 --> 00:27:53,125
IT MEANS FOREST, SO...

506
00:27:55,583 --> 00:27:57,166
UH, TREES.

507
00:27:59,708 --> 00:28:01,041
WHY? WHAT DO YOU SEE?

508
00:28:01,042 --> 00:28:02,125
THE FOREST.

509
00:28:06,834 --> 00:28:08,625
OKAY, HOW DO I LOOK, REALLY?

510
00:28:09,792 --> 00:28:10,834
SWARTHY.

511
00:28:11,333 --> 00:28:12,582
WELL, IS THAT GOOD?

512
00:28:12,583 --> 00:28:14,457
DEPENDS IF YOU LIKE SWARTHY.

513
00:28:14,458 --> 00:28:15,624
DO YOU LIKE SWARTHY?

514
00:28:15,625 --> 00:28:17,125
NOT PARTICULARLY.

515
00:28:31,708 --> 00:28:34,083
HEY, DON'T PUT ME
DOWN AS TREES, OKAY?

516
00:28:34,084 --> 00:28:35,084
OKAY.

517
00:28:43,667 --> 00:28:45,125
[BANGING]

518
00:28:50,542 --> 00:28:52,084
[GUNSHOTS]

519
00:29:02,500 --> 00:29:04,125
GIVE ME BACK THAT BAG!

520
00:29:07,417 --> 00:29:08,791
YOU'RE AN N.F.

521
00:29:08,792 --> 00:29:10,249
YOU'RE AN INTUITIVE FEELER.

522
00:29:10,250 --> 00:29:11,958
YOU TRUST YOUR INTUITION,

523
00:29:11,959 --> 00:29:14,625
YOU YEARN FOR ROMANCE, AND YOU
PRIZE MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS.

524
00:29:15,167 --> 00:29:16,167
WHAT?

525
00:29:18,041 --> 00:29:20,125
I BET HE'S AN INTUITIVE THINKER.

526
00:29:21,834 --> 00:29:22,917
N.T.s ARE THE WORST.

527
00:29:32,167 --> 00:29:33,625
I'LL TAKE THAT. CHEERS.

528
00:29:47,333 --> 00:29:49,458
EXCUSE ME, MR. DEAD GUY?

529
00:29:51,458 --> 00:29:53,208
ON A LONG AIRPLANE TRIP,

530
00:29:53,209 --> 00:29:54,489
IF YOU'RE SEATED
NEXT TO SOMEONE,

531
00:29:54,513 --> 00:29:56,082
DO YOU PREFER TO
MAKE CONVERSATION

532
00:29:56,083 --> 00:29:57,582
OR READ A BOOK?

533
00:29:57,583 --> 00:30:00,416
[GEORGE] ONE SOUL AND $1,400
LATER, IT WAS TIME FOR LUNCH.

534
00:30:00,417 --> 00:30:03,207
IT WOULDN'T EVEN LET ME
TALK TO A HUMAN BEING.

535
00:30:03,208 --> 00:30:04,457
I'M GOING TO CHANGE BANKS.

536
00:30:04,458 --> 00:30:06,041
YOU HAVE TO PRESS ZERO.

537
00:30:07,125 --> 00:30:09,207
YOU DON'T THINK I
KNOW TO PRESS ZERO?

538
00:30:09,208 --> 00:30:10,959
SOMETIMES IT'S "STAR".

539
00:30:12,208 --> 00:30:13,374
YOU KNOW WHAT? COMPUTERS,

540
00:30:13,375 --> 00:30:15,335
THEY'RE GOING TO, LIKE,
TAKE OVER THE WHOLE WORLD.

541
00:30:15,359 --> 00:30:19,083
NEVER HAPPEN. COMPUTERS WON'T
GET SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

542
00:30:19,084 --> 00:30:20,290
I THINK THEY ALREADY ARE.

543
00:30:20,291 --> 00:30:22,916
YEAH, WELL, WHEN A COMPUTER
LOSES IT WITH A METER MAID...

544
00:30:22,917 --> 00:30:24,457
NO OFFENSE... OR KILLS ITSELF

545
00:30:24,458 --> 00:30:26,082
BECAUSE IT THINKS
IT'S GETTING TOO FAT,

546
00:30:26,083 --> 00:30:28,084
THEN I'LL BELIEVE IN
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE.

547
00:30:30,167 --> 00:30:31,959
THIS JUICE TASTES FUNNY.

548
00:30:36,084 --> 00:30:37,667
IT TASTES LIKE FRESCA.

549
00:30:43,959 --> 00:30:45,291
[GEORGE] HI.

550
00:30:50,458 --> 00:30:52,290
[KIFFANY] KNOW WHAT YOU WANT?

551
00:30:52,291 --> 00:30:54,207
YEAH. UH, BANANA BONANZA AND...

552
00:30:54,208 --> 00:30:55,458
HEARD YOU WENT HOME AGAIN.

553
00:30:58,084 --> 00:30:59,999
WHEAT TOAST... [RUBE]
BIG FUCKIN' MISTAKE.

554
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:01,582
AND A GLASS OF WATER.

555
00:31:01,583 --> 00:31:04,263
I'M A REASONABLE MAN, GEORGE. THAT'S
WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY, RIGHT?

556
00:31:05,458 --> 00:31:06,792
I'LL COME BACK.

557
00:31:11,291 --> 00:31:13,041
I'M A REASONABLE MAN, GEORGE...

558
00:31:15,125 --> 00:31:17,167
EVEN THOUGH YOU FLIPPED ME OFF.

559
00:31:22,875 --> 00:31:24,582
YOU FRUSTRATE ME, PEANUT.

560
00:31:24,583 --> 00:31:27,041
IF I HEAR YOU HAVE ANY CONTACT
WITH YOUR OLD LIFE AGAIN,

561
00:31:28,167 --> 00:31:29,916
YOU WILL HAVE A TORMENT
COME DOWN UPON YOU

562
00:31:29,917 --> 00:31:31,166
THAT YOU CANNOT IMAGINE.

563
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:33,250
CHECK, PLEASE!

564
00:31:37,167 --> 00:31:40,207
I KNOW THAT'S
SUPPOSED TO SCARE ME,

565
00:31:40,208 --> 00:31:42,582
BUT I CAN'T THINK

566
00:31:42,583 --> 00:31:44,124
OF ANYTHING YOU COULD DO

567
00:31:44,125 --> 00:31:46,875
THAT'S ANY WORSE THAN
WHAT'S ALREADY HAPPENED.

568
00:31:48,084 --> 00:31:49,458
OH, I WAS ONLY JOKING.
I'M SORRY.

569
00:31:51,750 --> 00:31:52,958
[RUBE] WE'LL TAKE IT.

570
00:31:52,959 --> 00:31:55,249
OH, COULD YOU ADD A
GRAPEFRUIT JUICE?

571
00:31:55,250 --> 00:31:57,208
THEN SHE'S GOT TO GO BACK.

572
00:31:57,209 --> 00:31:58,609
SO YOU GET IT TO GO
ON YOUR WAY OUT.

573
00:32:00,583 --> 00:32:02,250
[MASON] HAS ANYONE
GOT TWO FIVES?

574
00:32:03,125 --> 00:32:04,582
OH, COULD YOU COVER ME?

575
00:32:04,583 --> 00:32:05,625
YES.

576
00:32:06,250 --> 00:32:07,583
[RUBE] THIS IS FOR YOU...

577
00:32:08,375 --> 00:32:09,500
AND YOU...

578
00:32:10,291 --> 00:32:12,166
AND YOU...

579
00:32:12,167 --> 00:32:13,167
AND YOU.

580
00:32:13,959 --> 00:32:15,125
AGAIN?

581
00:32:15,625 --> 00:32:17,042
THERE YOU GO.

582
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:19,583
YOU GIVE HER A RIDE.

583
00:32:42,834 --> 00:32:45,624
CHRIS, ALLY, THEY ARE STILL
WAITING FOR CONFIRMATION

584
00:32:45,625 --> 00:32:48,207
THAT THE POWERFUL TRANQUILIZER
USED TO SEDATE DORA

585
00:32:48,208 --> 00:32:49,874
HAS TAKEN FULL EFFECT.

586
00:32:49,875 --> 00:32:52,499
WHEN THAT HAPPENS, THE PLAN IS
TO MOVE HER OUT OF THAT CAGE

587
00:32:52,500 --> 00:32:53,707
AND INTO THAT TRAILER,

588
00:32:53,708 --> 00:32:55,041
WHERE SHE WILL MAKE THE RIDE

589
00:32:55,042 --> 00:32:57,208
TO ANIMAL CONTROL'S
FOLDING HACILITY...

590
00:32:57,209 --> 00:32:58,290
FUCK.

591
00:32:58,291 --> 00:32:59,625
SORRY.

592
00:33:00,333 --> 00:33:01,707
ALL RIGHT,

593
00:33:01,708 --> 00:33:03,125
HOLDING FACILITY.

594
00:33:04,417 --> 00:33:05,999
GO AGAIN.

595
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,208
CHRIS, ALLY, THEY ARE
STILL WAITING...

596
00:33:20,083 --> 00:33:23,167
SO, WHAT'S YOUR GUESS?

597
00:33:29,542 --> 00:33:31,792
HOW DO YOU THINK IT'S
GOING TO HAPPEN?

598
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,208
PROFESSOR IN THE LIBRARY
WITH THE CANDLESTICK?

599
00:33:46,959 --> 00:33:48,833
PARKING BRAKE ON
THE TRUCK FAILS.

600
00:33:48,834 --> 00:33:50,249
THE TRUCK RUNS
INTO THE GAS PUMPS

601
00:33:50,250 --> 00:33:53,125
AS THE ANTENNA TOWER SPARKS
THE LIGHTS ON THE CANOPY.

602
00:33:55,209 --> 00:33:58,040
IS IT, LIKE, A REAPER THING
TO TAKE THE LONG SHOT?

603
00:33:58,041 --> 00:33:59,999
I COULD BE GETTING
SOMETHING DONE TODAY.

604
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,792
THERE'S A MAN IN A CAGE
WITH A BARELY SEDATED BEAR.

605
00:34:04,125 --> 00:34:06,083
V. KOSTIKOVITCH.

606
00:34:08,834 --> 00:34:09,959
WHAT?

607
00:34:16,834 --> 00:34:18,875
IT'S NOT IMPOSSIBLE.

608
00:34:28,500 --> 00:34:30,791
WHETHER OR NOT THAT SHOW
OF SUPPORT WILL BE ENOUGH

609
00:34:30,792 --> 00:34:32,666
TO PREVENT DORA
FROM BEING PUT DOWN

610
00:34:32,667 --> 00:34:34,082
REMAINS TO BE SEEN.

611
00:34:34,083 --> 00:34:36,166
THIS IS BILL BRIGHT
REPORTING FROM ROUTE SEVEN.

612
00:34:37,667 --> 00:34:39,250
GOT IT. NICE JOB.

613
00:34:42,167 --> 00:34:43,458
WHAT TIME IS IT?

614
00:34:44,083 --> 00:34:46,124
YOU SMELL LIKE GARBAGE.

615
00:34:46,125 --> 00:34:48,005
IT'S ALWAYS SUCH A RELIEF
WHEN I GET TO MY NAME.

616
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:50,280
IT'S HARD TO MESS
UP BILL BRIGHT.

617
00:34:51,041 --> 00:34:52,999
YOU SHOULD HEAR MY REAL NAME.

618
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,124
KOSTIKOVITCH! HUH?

619
00:34:55,125 --> 00:34:56,333
[ROARING]

620
00:34:56,917 --> 00:34:58,250
[SCREAMING]

621
00:35:00,041 --> 00:35:01,958
ROLL TAPE, ROLL TAPE. ROLL TAPE!

622
00:35:01,959 --> 00:35:03,332
[CAMERAMAN] ROLLING. GREAT!

623
00:35:03,333 --> 00:35:05,293
WHAT HAS STARTED AS A SIMPLE
ANIMAL-RIGHTS PROTEST

624
00:35:05,317 --> 00:35:07,749
HAS ESCALATED INTO A
DANGEROUS SITUATION.

625
00:35:07,750 --> 00:35:09,670
THIS IS BILL BRIGHT REPORTING
FROM ROUTE SEVEN...

626
00:35:09,694 --> 00:35:11,069
UH, BILL?

627
00:35:26,125 --> 00:35:27,333
BILL?

628
00:35:28,209 --> 00:35:29,582
BILL?

629
00:35:29,583 --> 00:35:31,290
[GEORGE] I KNOW A
COUPLE OF THINGS.

630
00:35:31,291 --> 00:35:33,208
I KNOW THAT A FEW
HOURS FROM NOW,

631
00:35:33,209 --> 00:35:36,582
SOMEBODY WILL BE STANDING
IN THIS GUY'S CLOSET

632
00:35:36,583 --> 00:35:38,083
SMELLING HIS SHIRTS,

633
00:35:38,084 --> 00:35:40,624
TRYING TO RECONNECT...

634
00:35:40,625 --> 00:35:42,875
AND I KNOW WHERE
THAT BEAR IS GOING.

635
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:47,083
SHE'S GOING IN SEARCH
OF THE RELATIONSHIP

636
00:35:47,084 --> 00:35:49,792
ALL OF US ARE TRYING TO
RECREATE IN ONE WAY...

637
00:35:50,625 --> 00:35:52,083
OR ANOTHER.

638
00:36:03,333 --> 00:36:06,666
YOU WOULD THINK THAT SINCE I
KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT EVERYTHING,

639
00:36:06,667 --> 00:36:09,125
I WOULDN'T DO WHAT
I'M ABOUT TO DO.

640
00:36:28,583 --> 00:36:29,792
[REGGIE] GOT IT!

641
00:36:32,417 --> 00:36:33,749
YEAH?

642
00:36:33,750 --> 00:36:35,510
[GEORGE] I COULD DO THIS.
IT WAS NO BIG DEAL.

643
00:36:35,534 --> 00:36:37,999
AFTER ALL, REAPERS LOOK
DIFFERENT TO THE LIVING.

644
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:39,708
DO YOU WANT SOMETHING?

645
00:36:41,625 --> 00:36:42,875
HOW ARE YOU?

646
00:36:44,375 --> 00:36:45,458
OKAY.

647
00:36:46,125 --> 00:36:47,166
GOOD.

648
00:36:49,542 --> 00:36:51,458
I'M A FRIEND OF YOUR MOM'S.

649
00:36:52,625 --> 00:36:54,291
I LIKE YOUR HAIR LIKE THIS.

650
00:36:57,792 --> 00:36:59,125
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

651
00:37:00,667 --> 00:37:02,040
GET IN THE HOUSE.

652
00:37:02,041 --> 00:37:03,542
GET IN THE HOUSE.

653
00:37:06,667 --> 00:37:08,333
I REMEMBER YOU.

654
00:37:09,959 --> 00:37:11,000
THE YARD SALE.

655
00:37:13,042 --> 00:37:14,583
YOU SHOULD LEAVE. JOY...

656
00:37:16,750 --> 00:37:18,374
I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
PLEASE.

657
00:37:18,375 --> 00:37:19,708
NO. MOM!

658
00:37:24,209 --> 00:37:25,541
WHAT...

659
00:37:25,542 --> 00:37:28,222
[GEORGE] I FIGURED THAT I WOULDN'T
HAVE A LOAD OF TIME AT THIS POINT,

660
00:37:28,246 --> 00:37:30,874
SO I'D WORKED OUT JUST
THE RIGHT THING TO SAY.

661
00:37:30,875 --> 00:37:32,541
IT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO LIKE THIS.

662
00:37:32,542 --> 00:37:33,666
WHEN I WAS FIVE,

663
00:37:33,667 --> 00:37:37,083
I HAD AN IMAGINARY FRIEND
NAMED BROCCOLI BEE,

664
00:37:37,084 --> 00:37:39,165
AND YOU TOOK OUT ONE
OF YOUR STENO PADS,

665
00:37:39,166 --> 00:37:40,541
AND WE WROTE A STORY

666
00:37:40,542 --> 00:37:42,917
WITH PICTURES ON ONE SIDE
AND WORDS ON THE OTHER.

667
00:37:45,125 --> 00:37:46,541
GEORGIA?

668
00:37:46,542 --> 00:37:50,083
[GEORGE] BUT IT KIND OF
LOOKED MORE LIKE THIS.

669
00:37:50,084 --> 00:37:52,792
WHEN I WAS FIVE...

670
00:37:54,042 --> 00:37:59,208
I, UM... UH, HAD A FRIEND,

671
00:37:59,209 --> 00:38:00,209
AND, UM...

672
00:38:01,208 --> 00:38:02,583
I, UM...

673
00:38:04,208 --> 00:38:07,124
[GEORGE] THAT'S IT. THAT'S
ALL THAT WOULD COME OUT.

674
00:38:07,125 --> 00:38:09,332
GET OUT. [GEORGE] I HAVE
LOTS OF OTHER THINGS TO SAY,

675
00:38:09,333 --> 00:38:12,417
BUT SOMEHOW, THEY ALL KIND
OF MELTED INTO A FINE MIST.

676
00:38:13,083 --> 00:38:15,082
MOM, ON THE OTHER HAND...

677
00:38:15,083 --> 00:38:19,041
YOU ARE A REAL FUCKING
PIECE OF WORK, AREN'T YOU?

678
00:38:19,042 --> 00:38:21,624
GET OUT. GET THE
FUCK OUT OF HERE!

679
00:38:21,625 --> 00:38:23,124
YOU THINK YOU CAN
JUST SHOW UP HERE

680
00:38:23,125 --> 00:38:24,999
AND PULL THIS KIND OF SHIT?

681
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:26,960
DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS
LIKE TO LOSE A DAUGHTER?

682
00:38:27,458 --> 00:38:29,999
GET YOUR SKANKY ASS OUT OF HERE!

683
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:31,999
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU RUN, BITCH.

684
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:33,208
RUN!

685
00:40:08,125 --> 00:40:09,375
THANKS.

686
00:40:12,125 --> 00:40:13,125
MM-HMM.

687
00:40:16,875 --> 00:40:18,333
ARE YOU GOING TO TELL HIM?

688
00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:21,125
IF YOU DON'T.

689
00:40:36,041 --> 00:40:38,666
I KNOW THE MENU LIKE A
FIRST PHONE NUMBER.

690
00:40:38,667 --> 00:40:40,307
STILL HAVE TO READ IT
TO KNOW WHAT I WANT.

691
00:40:42,542 --> 00:40:44,041
CAN I GET A NUMBER SIX?

692
00:40:49,417 --> 00:40:50,750
WANT THIS?

693
00:40:53,083 --> 00:40:54,583
I WENT HOME AGAIN.

694
00:40:57,167 --> 00:40:58,500
PASS ME A NAPKIN.

695
00:41:06,084 --> 00:41:07,208
YOU OKAY?

696
00:41:14,042 --> 00:41:15,583
YOU LOSE ANYTHING?

697
00:41:18,708 --> 00:41:20,084
MEMORIES?

698
00:41:25,084 --> 00:41:27,207
I DON'T KNOW.

699
00:41:27,208 --> 00:41:29,750
I TRIED TO TELL MY
MOM A STORY, AND...

700
00:41:33,041 --> 00:41:35,750
NOW I CAN'T EVEN
REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS.

701
00:41:39,084 --> 00:41:40,707
[GEORGE] IT'S CRUEL AND SIMPLE.

702
00:41:40,708 --> 00:41:42,332
THE MORE I HELD ON TO MY LIFE,

703
00:41:42,333 --> 00:41:44,250
THE LESS THERE WAS TO HOLD ONTO.

704
00:41:48,792 --> 00:41:50,959
SO, MY WHOLE LIFE, EVERYTHING...

705
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,583
ALL I GET TO KEEP ARE
THOUGHTS AND MEMORIES?

706
00:41:59,250 --> 00:42:01,167
THAT'S ALL WE EVER HAD, PEANUT.

707
00:42:05,542 --> 00:42:06,834
I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING?

708
00:42:08,250 --> 00:42:09,375
YEAH.

709
00:42:20,708 --> 00:42:23,500
AT THE END OF THE DAY, ALL YOU
HAVE ARE YOUR EXPERIENCES.

710
00:42:25,042 --> 00:42:27,749
I SPENT SO MUCH OF MY LIFE
AVOIDING EXPERIENCES,

711
00:42:27,750 --> 00:42:29,333
I DIDN'T HAVE MUCH TO LOSE.

712
00:42:33,583 --> 00:42:36,959
I WAS JUST THINKING THAT MAYBE I'D
DONE THE WHOLE THING WRONG...

713
00:42:37,583 --> 00:42:39,208
WHEN BREAKFAST CAME.

